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Erotic Story:
When I set out for Philly, to see my comedy coach, I had no idea that this simple business trip would end in an adventure so bizarre that it would be a long time before I could forget about it. And who knows if I ever WILL forget about it? It may have irrevocably changed my life for all time.
Well I don't want to keep you in suspense so I'll get right to the point, that is, the story.
I am a standup comic, working with a damn good and damn expensive comedy writer in the City of Brotherly Love. You know, the town in which the movie with Tom Hanks took place. Yeah, that one! Well I had concluded my business there and it was time for me to return to New York City where I live. I started out about five PM, early enough for me to get back to New York before sunset [I hate driving in the dark]. I went up John F Kennedy Blvd, right on North Broad St, then onto I-676 to the Vine Street Expressway, and was just about to get onto I-95 towards Trenton, when I heard this noise behind me, a quickly moving motorcycle coming up. I looked in the mirror and saw it was a state trooper. I pulled over and stopped and waited for him to come over. He dismounted and walked over to the driver side while I rolled down my window. He came over to the window and I already was pulling out my wallet to give him my license.
"Is there some problem, officer?", I asked. He looked at my license through his dark sunglasses and looked at me. "Well you tell me, Rick", he said. "Do you know the speed limit on this road?" I nodded. "Yes sir! It's 55."
"Well then, tell me Rick. Why did I clock you at 56?" I winced! I couldn't fucking believe what I was hearing! Silently I mouthed, "56 miles an hour? For one god-damn mile above the limit you stopped me?" He must have seen my lips moving because the next words out of his mouth were, "What's that? You say something, Rick? You got something on your mind about the way I am doing my job? Speak up, boy!" Well I don't have to tell you that when you are 39 years old, being called a "boy" by an officer of the law is no fun. In fact, it's a downright bad indication for the rest of the day! So I gulped and said, "No sir, officer! I didn't say anything."
"That's good, Rick. That's real good. Because I wouldn't want you or any other citizen to think that a man of my experience, who has been on the job for almost 20 years, who is almost getting ready to retire, doesn't know how to do his job properly!" Then he added, "Do we understand each other, boy?"  I nodded. "Yessir!", I said. " I certainly DO understand. And I want you to know that I don't mean any trouble. I didn't know that I was speeding. I'm sorry! Listen officer, I have to get back to New York real soon, before dark. You see, I don't do very well driving at night."

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